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I Resign!

We often feel as if we belong to groups or institutions over which we have little control--our jobs, families, or nations, for instance; even aspects of our identity, such as gender or ethnicity. When it's a job we don't like we can in some cases resign. Even when we don't actually resign, we often think about what our resignation letter would say.

The resignation letter is a genre associated with intense feelings ("Take this job and shove it!" or sometimes a sense of relief ("Now I can tell you what I really think of you!")

Of course we don't always send the letters exactly as we write them, or the way we composed them in our heads. But for this assignment, I'd like you to write a resignation letter of at least 500 words that is just as explicit and passionate and honest as you can make it--the resignation letter that you might not really send.

And the resignation can be from anything institution or group to which you feel like you belong (EXCEPT a job), and over which you feel like you have little control, and which you wish was different. For some fairly obvious instances: you may want to resign from your gender, or from your country, your family, or your church. Pick one, though: you don't resign from everything all at once. 

Example #1:

ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS… no, ATTENTION WALMART:

Gosh darn your low low prices, convenient hours and adorable smiley face mascot. It is because of those things that keep innocent and naive people shopping at your store. No, excuse me. You, Wal-Mart, are not a store; you are 5,000 monopoly-like buildings worldwide.  And where do you build those 5,000 multi-story structures with equally large parking lots? You build them in all different countries, mostly the United States, in cities and small towns. You demolish neighborhoods to expand your monopoly. Was it necessary to build a Wal-Mart right across the street from the local supermarket that has existed since my mother was a baby? Do not even try to argue that the citizens of that small town have a choice of which supermarket they want to shop at. Who can resist a gallon of pickles at Wal-Mart for $2.97, when across the street at the store my grandfather shopped at for 73 years sells pickles for $3.50 a quart?! People cannot resist your deceivingly low prices that have made you not only the largest retailer, but also the largest company in the country, selling $244.5 billion in goods. You must be so proud selling more goods than Target, Sears, K-Mart, JC Penney, Safeway, and Kroger combined. The closest store you have as a rival in retail is Home Depot, and you sell more goods in three months than they do in a year.
            At least you are helping unemployment rates my hiring plenty of employees in your 5,000 stores to sell those $244.5 worth of goods. Oh, but I suppose you can afford your sexually-discriminated against employees by paying them next to nothing and not providing them with health benefits. I suppose because you are such a huge monopoly you can decide if your employees deserve breaks or lunches. You don’t even need to pay them for their overtime do you? I find it amusing that you claim that the majority of your employees work full-time, which is well over the twenty to forty percent found in regular retail industry. That’s intriguing because the employees working part time are hired only a few minutes shy of being full-time workers. That’s a clever little trick you pulled off there. What is this “regular retail industry” you speak of? I was unaware that you, Wal-Mart, acknowledge that other retail stores exist.

If possible you would build a Wal-Mart over anything. Go ahead, why don’t you simply build a Wal-Mart right over a historical monument. What do we, as citizens care? Hell, you have a gallon of pickles for less than three dollars! Who the hell eats that many pickles anyway?
So this is my formal resignation as a Wal-Mart customer. I refuse to support your industry. I refuse to support the horrendous treatment of your employees. I refuse to support you low prices, because that is what you are. Low. A low, below-dirt corporation trying to take over the country. Your low prices are causing big costs for our economy other retail stores, and the lives of everyday citizens. Thank you and have a nice day.

Example #2:

Dear human population,

As required by my contract of employment, I hereby give you my 5 minutes notice of my intention to leave the human race, and by the way, screw you! Screw you and your utter disrespect for the plant and everything living on it. I am resigning from the human race and all the disgusting things they do the earth, their fellow people and the creatures we share our earth with. Our planet has given you everything you could ever need to live long, happy lives with ample food, clothing and shelter, yet you continue to destroy and demolish it. You pollute her oceans with oil and trash, cut down her forests, destroy her protective ozone layer, burry your trash hoping it will go away, turn her rain to acid, create more and more hazardous waste, and overpopulate cities. These repulsive actions can not be forgiven and therefore I am posting my resignation. 

Not only have you messed up the earth, but also the things living on it, including people of your own race. You have bombed, gassed, shot, drown, hung, stabbed, and slaughtered billions upon billions of people. Is your excuse war, poverty or just because? All these reasons are pitiful and disgraceful. Many conflicts have been solved without any blood being shed. Maybe you want to use poverty as your excuse, well then just keep you multi million dollar mansion housing two people and keep eating you hundred dollar steak that you�re going to eat half of and toss the rest while billions of people starve of hunger and live in tin boxes. Tell me you�ve donated your fair share to the poor while driving your 75,000 dollar Escalade putting in a hundred dollars worth of gas every other day. There is no excuse for the actions of everyone of you, and I�m am not going to be a part of such an institution.  

To speak for the animals who have no voices, go to hell. Murdering millions of buffalo, pushing the rainforest animals into smaller quarters, killing for furs and leaving the rest of the animal to rot, building on the homes of countless animals, polluting the home of all the creatures that live in the seas, oceans and rivers, and murdering innumerable others. These animals can�t stand up for themselves and you disrespectful assholes took advantage of that for your own benefit. You pushed them further and further without a second thought. These events will come back to haunt you and I will not be a part of it anymore. 

Overall, the repulsive actions that you�ve displayed to the earth, the people and the animals that live on it are unforgivable and therefore I am resigning from the human race. There have been to many things that have gone without remorse and it�s forced me to resign. To everyone who still participates in these cruel and horrible actions, I have mercy on your soul and hopefully you�ll soon come to the same realization as I have. 

 

 

 

   

 

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