The Roast Issue
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Kathy M. Newman

An Entry from Jeff Williams’ Day Planner
Date: Sometime in the last five years.

5:00 am Wake up suddenly with brilliant idea for new piece for the Chronicle on student debt/smart people/my past work as a prison guard/my past work in bookstore gulag/interview with Important Academic.
5:15 am Fall back asleep.
8:10 Smoke cigarette on the balcony.
8:15 Go on a four-mile run.
8:50 Shower.
9:00 Eat breakfast, make coffee.
9:15 Write brilliant Chronicle article. Pitch a slightly different version of it to Dissent.
10:00 Write 2,000 words on University Book.
11:00 Write 2,000 words on Criticism Book.
12:00 pm Write 2,000 words on Theory Book
1:00 Eat lunch, make more coffee.
1:15 Read Mario’s dissertation chapter. Write two-page response.
1:30 Read Sheila’s exam petition. Write two-page response.
1:45 Read Geoff’s prospectus. Write two-page response.
2:00 Skim new submissions to minnesota review. Make pile with the ones that might work.
2:15 Edit three articles for next issue. Mutter and grumble things like “blah blah blah” and “did you read this before you sent it?” and “criminy!”
3:00 Call Marc Bousquet. Mutter and grumble things like “welfare state university,” “indentured servitude,” and “company store.”
3:15 Edit interviews conducted with Abrams/Ross/Haraway/Bérubé/Zinner, etc.
3:30 Go to café across the street to check the internet.
3:35 Send Carnegie Mellon colleagues copy of latest Chronicle article.
3:40 Send feedback to Mario/Sheila/Geoff and to each faculty person on their committees.
3:45 Email Kathy Newman to thank her for organizing an effective meeting last week. Remember to tell her in person that cultural studies has lost its way. Also, what is her work really about? What does she stand for?
4:00 Enjoy cup of coffee and New York Times.
4:15 Make comments on LCS I student papers.
5:00 Read college novel, Stoner, for class.
5:30 Eat dinner.
6:00 Drive to CMU
6:30 Teach class.
7:50 Dismiss class for break. Smoke one cigarette. Get tea from department office.
8:00 Resume class. Berate students for not looking more alert and awake. Scoff at them, especially considering their relative youth.
9:50 Finish class
10:00 Have a beer with students. Continue to berate them for not being able to keep up with me.
11:30 Read Jhumpa Lahiri’s Unaccustomed Earth.
12:00 Lights out. Tomorrow I will be more productive.